Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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