I'm drive I can fine osifer
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
