What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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