i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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