No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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