If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
