last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
