Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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