He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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