We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
