Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
