their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
