Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
