My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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