Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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