something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
