my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
