and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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