She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
