she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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