Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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