god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
