im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
