Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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