on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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