I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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