he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
