...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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