he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
