I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
