I cockslap morals
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
