Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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