You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
