you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
