pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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