Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
