I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
