So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
