then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
