Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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