We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
