It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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