My room smells like vodka and shame
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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