I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
