woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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