I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
