it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
