Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
