I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
