Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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