Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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