So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
