sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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