what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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